thirteen reasons why dishwashing is my least favorite domestic chore 1. i have soggy food issues. i do not like soggy cereal or cookie crumbs in my milk. i do not like the last third of my pancake after the syrup is all soaked in. i'm not a fan of open faced roast beef sandwiches with gravey poured over to make the bread soggy. i would rather die than eat a french dip sub and actually dip each bite in au jus or break up crackers to float around in my soup. so take all that and add to it rinsing off plates with leftover bits on them. or worse, the things that won't go down the drain and you have to pick it out of the sink with your hands and walk over to the trash to throw it away and what if the trash can is far away, then its just squishy and soggy in your hands for maybe fifteen seconds. *aaiigghh* *heebby geebbies* 2. i can never get all the things to fit into the dishwasher 3. i forget to put in soap and actually start the dishwasher. i have good intensions. i think to myself, i'll be a responsible desert dweller and instead of running a non completely full load, i'll put in the breakfast dishes before i start it. and then i forget to start the dishwasher after breakfast. fast forward to dinner and there are no clean plates. 4. because i do not do a good job rinsing, things don't always come out of the dishwasher exactly clean. 5. if i try to unload the dishwasher right after its finished, the dishes are increadibly hot and burn my fingers. 6. if i wait to unload, i forget for days and think there are no clean glasses. 7. sometimes i accidentally run it a second time because i forgot it was clean and managed to put a couple more dirty things in there, usually on top so that the icky food dirtiness splashes around on the once clean dishes. 8. i can never get the pots to fit in proerly. 9. i'm not sure if you should put sharp knives on top with the spatulas or in the silverware cubby. 10. when i was younger, my two sisters and i divided dishes into three tasks. three sisters, three tasks. washing. rinsing. drying AND putting away. being the youngest, guess which task i always got? drying and putting away. how is that not two tasks? how did i always get stuck with two while they only got one?? being the youngest sister had its drawbacks. 11. i am bitter that paperplates aren't good at all for the environment or the budget. 12. i think that doing the dishes should probably also involve washing the counters and stove top but there is always stuff burnt completely foreverly onto the stove tops. 13. i think that doing the dishes should probably also involve running the garbage disposal and sometimes when you flip the on switch it all goes glup and sputters up and the most foul things fly through the air and you always have to lean over it all in order to flip the switch back off. fate demands that something land either in your hair, on your face or on your shirt.