everything should be fun. it should, but we all know it isn't.

i'm an optimistic sort. the glass is half full. if the glass should somehow not be half full, the problem is in the glass. you need a different glass and then it would be half full.

i'm a mary poppins. just a spoon full of sugar (or splenda if you do the low carb thing) helps the medicine go down.

right now, its one of those times that just isn't fun. i'm not happy. i'm not ok. i'm not having fun. and its a little of a lot of things (which is how life usually works).

my boss and her boss want to have a nice 'chat' with me about my 'goals.' i have a week and a half to come up with some goals, since i really don't have any at the moment. well, currently i wish to not be bored with my job or angry with my coworkers. i feel like i should come up with some, perhaps say, achievable goals prior to the meeting.

and andrew is in utah. its his two weeks with guard. i'm sure you've seen the commercials for national guard: you can serve your country with only one weekend a month and two weeks a year. this is his two weeks. and i'm not having a fit because he's gone for two weeks. except that in a way i am. its that i never really got over the last deployment. i never healed or recovered or finished all the steps. he came back; life changed. so my problem isn't that he's gone for two weeks; he's perfectly fine (though probably hot and hungry) up in utah. my problem doesn't even exist any more. he's not in iraq and we'll likely talk on the phone tonight but somehow i still feel so devistated. and then i also feel so stupid for feeling like this.

so that's the way it is today. everything should be fun. we all wish it were. we all want it to be, but we all know that sometimes things suck and we just have to muddle along.