offbeat, weird, and strange

thirteen bits of news you might have missed(week #6) 1. snake eats electric blanket it took a snake named houdini about six hours to completely eat a queen sized electric blanket cord and all, but only an 18 inch incision in the snake to operate it out. so what were the snakes parents doing for the six hours while houdini was getting extra fiber? 2. bear driven to eat pizza and booze if you are going to leave food in your car, either don't park close to the bears or don't buy highly desireable munchies. 3. thief pays the guy back a guy steals a bike. a guy feels bad. a guy does not return the bike but instead leaves a sorry note and a wad of cash for the exact value of the bike. 4. what is a paperclip really worth? a guy starts a blog and is willing to trade something for a lousy red paperclip. he keeps trading for better things until he finally has something worth trading for a house. his wife really likes the new house. i'd like a new house. 5. more people give back things that don't belong to them a homeless man who is dumpster diving for returnable bottles, finds a whole stack of bonds. he returns them and gets a very small % of their value as a reward. i guess a $100 is more than he started the day with but $21,000 would have been better. not that i'm advocating stealing. apparently a lot of people besides me thought he should get more than that. follow up story 6. someone is stealing only one letter: R some lunatic in toledo, ohio is running around stealing all the r's from various signs in town. normally people steal letters to make new words on the signs. my favorite was at my alma mater. by removing and breaking some letters, they made georgetown college into forget college, and on the big homecoming weekend...hee. however, these new signs don't say anything funny, they are just missing r's. 7. what a weird thing to put in your checked luggage now, i travel with a lot of stuff. half my shoes and nicknacks even, but i have never travelled with a skull. eww. 8. zippo convention first it was treckies and comic geeks and of course sturgis for the motorcycle people, but now there is a whole thing for people who collect zippos. everyone i know who has one loves it. i think i own the only unreliable zippo ever made, probably becuase its cursed. if the person who gave it to me dropped dead, i would not be torn up about it at all. 9. soccer fans are nuts this is kind of like nursing homes across the street from cemetaries. except exclusive like a country club. i've never been dedicated enough to anything to really really really want to be buried right beside it. not sports or shoes or anything. 10. monster eater retires i don't eat a lot at one time, but i graze all the time. this guy! wow! grazes like a mad man all the time. except now his doctor says NO! so's he's quiting cold turkey and all the local restaurants are breathing a sigh of relief. 11. more strange soccer fans a guy trying to pass of a fake passport was also trying to pass himself off as a soccer fan. except that the team he choose and the country's passport he choose didn't match up at all. 12. none of the above how is this helpful?? a guy runs for office and along with trying to get his own name on the ballot, he also wants 'none of the above' listed. and while yes, i often go into the voting booth thinking that i want none of the above, how is voting that way going to help anybody? 13. plane crash but still i do's when my husband proposed, it was, thankfully, much less eventful and had fewer ambulances. its actually a cute story and i'll share it sometime. i'm not sure what this guy's goal was, other than to give a ring. in the end, she said yes, but the ring was lost.

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