Thursday, April 19, 2007

what's in a name?

thirteen names i will never want to name my kid

week #26

first off, i do not have any children nor am i expecting any children; i have just recently noticed a lot of bad naming going on out there. second, if one of the names listed below happens to be the name you have choosen for your child, please don't take my opinions personally. third, there are several names on the list which are not bad names at all, they just for one reason or another don't fit well with me.

that being said, there seems to be a huge section of the population that does not give any long term concideration in naming their children. they don't seem to realize the fact that their children will someday grow up, must live with whatever crazy name they have been given, face the terrible prospect of junior high or job interviews, and often grow into those names (so if your last name is Hooker, don't name your child Destiny. i know, its so tempting, but you must resist). parents need to remember that they are naming people not puppies. i think there has to be some coorelation out there between the amount of thought put into baby names and the income/education level of parents, but i have no data to back that up.

1. names that are misspelled (Jyon, or Paychence)

2. names that have apostrophes (J'ohn or A'zyian)

3. overly biblical, especially old testament names (Obediah)

4. brand names (Lexus, Loreal, Courvoisier)

5. nouns (princess, destiny, apple)

6. similar to celebrity names (Paris Nicole)

7. two common and/or short names back to back (Fred George Smith, it just doesn't seem to roll off the tougue well.)

8. names that are overly clever (Adream, or Neveah which is heaven backwards. all else aside, you probably aren't the first one to think it up)

9. names from groups or ethnicities to which i do not belong (Juan and Moonbeam are great possible names but since i'm neither Hispanic or Native American or a hippie, i should choose something else)

10. twin names that match (Ruby and Pearl. Lily and Violet. Dakota and Cheyenne. Gabriel and Gabriele. twins may or may not be identical. and also, even if they do look alike, they are in fact separate people. i think i would grow up to be a psycho killer if i not only looked just like my sister but also had the same name. every moment of my life would be annoying)

11. names that are either a combination of two names or a combination of the parents names (you are Kylie, he is Tyler, and then name the kid Kyler)

12. having more than three names, or having more than one middle name. i get how this sometimes happens. it is a cultural thing or its a family obligation sort of thing. and since, as far as i know, i don't fall into either category, i can safely avoid this.

13. naming the child names that are shortened versions of other names. Nicknames are great, but birth certificates shouldn't actually say Timmy, Tommy, Larry, etc.

for some laughs, and some really snarky remarks, visit: the bad baby name blog

view other participants


  • At 8:49 PM , Blogger Vader's Mom said...

    Now that's a fun list! Thanks for sharing :)

  • At 9:24 PM , Blogger JennyMcB said...

    When I was fulltime in a blood bank, we would have to enter the baby's names into the medical record to get rid of the baby girl or baby boy. It would kill us to put some of these names in, and for some of the worst spellings of common names, we would guess the age of the mother ( youngest moms couldn't spell and we got good at guessing) fun list with good clarifications!

  • At 11:17 PM , Blogger Wylie Kinson said...

    I started laughing at Obediah (I can barely write it I laughing so hard) and didn't stop.
    I used to live in Bermuda and they LOVE mixing mom and dad's names for baby. VERY annoying!

  • At 12:05 AM , Anonymous she said...

    When I was younger, I used to really despise my name. It's a common name, using traditional spelling from the "old country" (from which my parents were only a decade removed). I hated that no one knew how to pronounce it and continuously being teased growing up.

    As an adult though, I'm proud of my traditional name. Mispronunciations no longer bother me.

    We can only hope that the children saddled with awful names will one day feel the same.

  • At 2:36 AM , Blogger N|i|N said...

    Once I dream of having paternal twins and naming them Nadia and Aidan (backwards, one name spell the other). But no chance. Cause I don't have twins and those 2 names are not quite the usual names for us malays :-)

  • At 3:36 AM , Blogger MM Del Rosario said...

    there is one brand name that I like MERCEDES!!!

    Happy T13!!!!

  • At 5:32 AM , Anonymous Lene said...

    Oh that is a great list! You nailed those on the head! I do not understand some of the names that people choose to name their kids.

    Happy TT!

  • At 8:30 AM , Blogger Dragonheart said...

    Terrific list! I agree with all of those. Some of the names that people give their children are just insane. Especially celebrities! I feel sorry for those kids, especially Kal-El and Apple!

  • At 11:55 AM , Blogger KarenW said...

    Naming children is tough and takes a lot of thought. I can't stand trendy names. I hated my name growing up. My mom said she didn't know any Karens. I guess every other mom thought the same thing.

  • At 11:52 PM , Blogger Nicholas said...

    Brilliant list. Remember Moon Unit Zappa and Zowie Bowie?


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